Hey Mom Look What I’m Doing

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I’m not going to sit here and tell you I’m a full defender of Internet and media
networking. I have recently jumped ship on “The Facebook” myself after failing to
perceive its practicality. In fact I found the more I spent time on Facebook and other so
called “social networking” websites the more I felt uncomfortable. Using Facebook to
keep tabs on your girlfriend (or the cute girl next door) is one thing but I have to
draw the line with some people. You wouldn’t want to look through hundreds of pictures
of my family and I really don’t want to look at pictures of your cats. Save me the trouble,
and put your bikini shot as your profile picture, I guarantee this will win you friends (if
not stalkers).

Another thing that scared me out of my Facebook addiction was the idea that any
point in time someone could be watching you. I don’t know about you, but I don’t even
like to tell my mom when I have to go to the doctor. This being the case I can see no
reason to inform my hundreds of “friends” every time my cat, Miss Kitty, has a bowel
movement. I don’t like it. I don’t want to be “tagged” or “followed” and if you “poke”
me I’m going to sue you for harassment. Rather than subject myself to the emotional and
occasionally physical strain of social networking I have removed myself from it all
together.

Instead of spending my nights watching “Nyan Cat” or following number of links
that were graciously cascaded on my wall without my expressed permission, I’m now
free to light a candle, put on my bathrobe, and spend hours on self reflection while
sobbing into a pint of Ben and Jerry’s. Oh how the freedom from my networking
addiction has been liberating. My life is much more full now. My television schedule as
opened up and now able to follow most of the major primetime shows. I no longer have
to worry about checking out the pictures, posted up by all my friends, from Jessica’s
party, that I wasn’t invited to. I don’t hold any hard feelings. I mean it was probably
Facebook invite only. Surely she’s not still mad at me for lighting her hair on fire in
chem. I digress.

Social networking is a growing concern. If we don’t get these kids unplugged
soon than we’ll have an apocalypse on our hands. Not the dreaded “zombie”
apocalypse, nor the green house effect (which causes such events as seen in “The Day
After Tomorrow” and “2012”), instead we face the Rise of the Planet of Myspace.
Social networking sites are not able to keep up with the ferociously paced expansion
necessary to fulfill the needs of our “Internet babies”. And not to cause panic, but
the continued growth is going to be seriously detrimental to the health of our much-
needed “Blogosphere”.

Facebook and other social networking sites along with texting and instant have
also completely eliminated the need for archaic communication styles. No longer is it
necessary to engage someone in often times confrontational verbal communication. In
the modern age it is much more practical to interject your open opinion of another
person’s pig headed social extremism. These advanced communication styles have been
widely adapted by our nations youth, however they are still met with uneasiness and
resent.

David Crystal states in his article that he hasn’t “come across a topic which has
attracted more adult antagonism (pp.109).” To that I have only one thing to say, I’ve
never met adults who were so apposed to forward progress. Verbal communication is a
thing of the past. Older citizens should not oppose modern communication techniques
just because their thumbs can’t keep up with the younger more nimble thumbs of the new
generation. To those who claim that messaging is a step back in communication sciences
(yeah I’m talking to Menand), you need to quit chiseling pictures into the cave wall and
pick up a mobile device.

Social networking and messaging services aren’t going anywhere anytime soon.
It’s something we’ll all have to learn to live with no thanks to Al Gore and his invention
of the Internet. If you’re going to choose to openly reject it (as I have with Facebook),
than you’re going to have to face the consequences of being left behind in a digital media
generation. If you can’t agree with your daughters non-verbal communication styles than
it’s up to you to get yourself on-line and make the attempt to connect with her. She’s
only going to become more dependent on these communication streams and you’re only
going to get older and less able to keep up. Word to the wise: get started learning now.

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4 responses to “Hey Mom Look What I’m Doing

  1. All valid points. I suspect that most people will get tired of the bullshit on social media cites and actually have a decent site that is true to communicating important information to one another eventually. We’ll see as the internet matures.

  2. this reminds me of how pissed off I get everytime I happen to log onto facebook and my news feed is filled up with 20 pictures of fences and the sky from some guy I hardly know haha

  3. I just think it’s funny that you used my name in this. It’s not always about me Aaron! And just for the record, Facebook allows me to have a healthy relationship with all of my frienemies! I mean I NEVER have to ask what they are up to because they are they type of girls that post every moment of thier lives online. It’s great right? I am also slightly addicted to social networking =D

  4. Really diggin this blog. Its crazy how many times i nodded my head in agreement to what you had to say. Like Roman pointed out, these are ALL very valid points on social networking. “social networking” has just become another way to intrude on someone’s lives wether you want to or not.

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